What's LOVE got to do with it?

Valentine’s Day is coming up in less than one week and everyone has love and romance on the brain.  If you think you are in love, want to fall in love, or realize that you have no clue what love is, this week is for you!  

Part I, ok leggo:

Most people want to be loved or at least feel like they are loved. The irony though is that the people who want love the most are the people who have had it the least and are therefore the least qualified to recognize it.  So you have groups of young men and young women doing the most ridiculous things in pursuit of and in the name of love.  First we want to be loved by our friends so we bend and twist into all kinds of crazy shapes trying to please them.  The funny thing is that our friends are bending and twisting too trying to please us and in the end the whole project equals one giant fail.  Second we want to be loved by members of the opposite sex and this is where things really go downhill FAST.  This is the part where we try to give and receive something that we don’t really know much about.

Ok, wait wait wait.  Don’t put me in the box with all adults who tell you that you don’t know anything about love (even though most of them are probably right).  I have good reasons for what I say and I am going to explain.  First thing you need to know, this is not a problem that young people have exclusive rights over.  However, if you learn this lesson while you are still young, you wont be like I was and get to your 20’s and still be kinda clueless.  The second thing you need is a definition.  What is love?  God is love.  You canNOT truly know love until you know God.  That is probably a little general considering that God is eternal and has no beginning and no end so let me narrow it down a bit.

What it aint, what it is: .

1. You can’t earn real love by what you do.  If I only “love” you because you give me money, sex, compliments, status, etc.  I don’t really love you for you.  Remember God is love.  So what is that we do for God to get his love?  NOTHING!  God first loved us before we ever knew him, cared about him or did just one right thing.  True love (which comes from God) can never be about what you do for me, it is always about what I want to do for you.  If a girl dumps you because you are broke, she didn’t love you.  If she dumps you because you won’t have sex with her, she didn’t love you (and she’s triflin). If you are in “love” and you have to give yourself in a way that is in conflict with what God wants you to do, it is NOT love.

2. Love does not cause you to act crazy, jealous, psychotic, neurotic, etc.  I have this phrase (based on my observation of my college roommate and her relationships) called “psycho love.” People in psycho love are borderline stalkers of each other.  They call each other constantly, always wonder where the other one is and what the other one is doing.  Screaming at each other is a way of life for these people.  They routinely go through each others phones, emails, facebook accounts and anything else they can find.  These type of “lovers” can sometimes be physically aggressive and most outside observers would think they actually hated each other.  This version of “love” is not love either.  Love does not make you psycho or insecure.  True love makes you kind and patient.  It is hopeful, enduring and full of belief in good.  That is what the bible says about real love.  When someone says stuff like ‘I love you so much it drives me crazy’ you should run in the other direction.

3. Love is not sex (especially if you are not married but even if you are married).  Sex is a bonding experience that carries with it very strong feelings of emotional attachment (especially for women) and that is why it is dangerous.  Love and what it is or aint, is hard enough to manage without throwing your body and the body of another person in the mix.  There is nothing as likely to confuse us as our bodies and our emotions and when we get even more confused about love, we are in trouble.  Remember, everyone wants love so if you start confusing sex and its emotional attachments with love, you are going to be a mess (and maybe a garden tool too…).  Remember true love does not hurt you, it protects you (because God is love).  Sex before you get married, on the other hand, is without a doubt a sin and sin does nothing BUT hurt you.  If you love a person that you are not married to, if you really love them, you will not have sex with them and they will not have sex with you.  If you ignore what I am saying and do it anyway, please don’t trick yourself or allow yourself to be tricked into thinking it is out of “love.”  It is because you are hardheaded and exhibit poor control over your body which is going to get you in trouble in a number of areas.

4. Love is not romance.  Romance is super sweeeet.  You get cards, flowers, poetry, candlelight dinners, nice words, etc.  All of these things, much like sex, give you an emotional reaction.  In other words they just make you feel good and all warm and ooey gooey inside.  While love may make you want to do nice things for a person, the nice things you do are NOT love.  Remember God.  God loved the world so much that he gave (not a bunch of stuff) but himself.  Check it out, you can be romantic and never give yourself.  Nice emotions are great but there is more to love because there is more to God.

You need to STOP and take a long hard look at the things you are calling love and your own behavior.  Love will NEVER hurt you.  If you are doing things which separate you from God, because you love another person, you are butt booty backwards.  There is no love without God so when you really love someone leaving God out of it, is not an option.  You should be suspicious of any female or male who claims to love you when there is no evidence that he or she loves the God who created them.  Meditate on this and we will go deeper tomorrow.